2-Man Open

Davis Waddel & Jace Olson

Hoffy Plus

Bardeaus

Hoffy

Purtels

"Ode to the Hoffy"

Duron Bros

We play on the outside and far away courts...
We struggle in the HOFFY with all our cohorts.

We don't hit like the Chavie or slice like the Roo...
We don't block like the Tin man, but if only you knew,
We give it our best, we're just tired, not through.

Our girlfriends are now our wives, there's kids everywhere,
And yes we're a little heavier and losing some hair.

Guys like McDermott, and Harry, they always compete.
Dr. Dink keeps all his opponents light on their feet.
We play Whitey & Tesar, there's Rosales (a beer in his hand)
And guys like the Doo-Rons still eating the sand.

We play in the HOFFY, we're old, that we know.
Our knees and our hips...
And wives tell us so.

We don't play the main courts, no showtime for us,
There's glass... and rocks... and other debris...
When you play on our courts you cut both your knees.

We struggle for sure...
Competing the best that we can,
With hopes for some games on Sunday... and maybe a chance...

Mean ol' Denny makes it quite clear,
If you should win the HOFFY one year...
"ADVANCE! You MUST advance! To the big dance you go."

"No way," we say! As we sip a cold brew,
Those kids are too young, what could we do?
We compete against Hicks and the Albi' Bros,
We'll have no chance at the big show!

Steve and Dave Cressman say,
"Stop, that's enough, let the poor old guys keep strutting their stuff!"

Denny has the great "DU".... And runs a good "CRANS"...
He snaps all our photos... And shakes all our hands.

But Denny, this is Gillis, please leave us alone...
The weeks before the tourney we're all on the phone.

We beg for good partners to carry us through...
And we play in the HOFFY...
It's the best we can do.